When something bad happens, our natural reaction is to get upset. But here’s the truth: it’s not what happens to us that causes our distress—it’s what we think about what happens that really stirs up our emotions.

I like to teach this idea through something I call the Emoji Meter—a simple way to visualize how our mindset shapes our mood, and how we can shift from mad… to sad… to glad.

Step 1: From Mad to Sad

Think of the “mad emoji”—what I call a matitude. This is the person who clenches their fists and says, “How dare they! I don’t deserve this! They have no right!”

The more we demand that life (or people) be different, the more disturbed we become. Anger feeds on entitlement.

Mind Hack:
When you feel yourself boiling with frustration, ask:
👉 “How could this be worse?”

This simple question lowers the bar of what “rock bottom” looks like. By realizing that things could always be worse, we immediately shrink our anger and find a little relief.

Step 2: From Sad to Meh

Next up is the “sad emoji”—a saditude. This is the voice that whispers:
“Please, please, please let this work out. Please invite me. Please let me win. Please let me get the grade I want.”

When our desires and expectations don’t get met, disappointment hits hard. That sadness stems from clinging too tightly to outcomes.

Mind Hack:
When you’re down, ask:
👉 “Why won’t this matter in the future?”

Zoom out. Most of the things we obsess over won’t even be a blip on the radar months or years from now. Gaining perspective lightens the emotional load.

Step 3: From Meh to Glad

Of course, we don’t want to stop at just calming down or shrugging things off. The real magic is moving toward the glad emoji (a gladitude).

Here’s where resilience shines: instead of saying “Whatever, it doesn’t matter,” we can actually become grateful in the middle of hardship.

Mind Hack:
Ask yourself:
👉 “How could this turn out for my good?”

This question rewires your brain to see opportunity in setbacks. Every disappointment can become a stepping stone. Every letdown can lead to a lift-up. That’s optimism in action.

Life will always throw curveballs. People will be rude, unfair, or unkind. Plans will fail. Expectations will be unmet.

But the Emoji Meter gives us a map. Instead of staying stuck in mad or sad, we can shift our mindset—first by lowering anger, then by gaining perspective, and ultimately by finding reasons to be glad.

The next time something goes wrong, don’t just ask “Why me?” Instead, ask one of these questions:

• How could this have been worse?

• Why won’t this matter in my future?

• How could this turn out for my good?

Your answers will determine whether you stay stuck in frustration… or move toward resilience, gratitude, and strength.