Christine from Houston, Texas writes, and she says, "Brooks, why is life so unfair? My dad divorced my mom when I was five. I grew up in single-parent poverty. The colleges I tried to get into never accepted me. My boss at work always seems to disagree with me and I never get promoted. It seems like life hates me and wants to see me fail."

You know, the only fair thing about life is that it's unfair for everyone. Here's three reasons why life is so unfair, with some ideas on how to cope.

Number one, life is outside your control. When you were born, it was against your will and without your permission. You had absolutely no say so in the matter. It was a decision made for you by your parents. You had no choice on who your parents were or what country they would live in. You couldn't decide how healthy their genetic makeup would be or how much money they would be able to acquire. You had no control over your natural talents, your good looks, or your intellectual capacity. But not only that— as you get older, you also realize that you can't control other things in your life: things like the weather, or the economy, or global pandemics, or anything else bigger than you. You have profound limitations. And if you have a hard time understanding that, just consider this: you're living on a planet suspended in space, in the midst of a galaxy, in the midst of billions of other galaxies that you can't even see and never will be able to see. Now you're not in control. And anyone who suggests that you have control over life, well, they're lying to you. And if you ever think you can control life, you're self-deceived. I'm sorry that your dad left when you were so young and that you grew up for a long time in a single-parent home. But that is the story for many people, including me. And yes, it's not ideal. It's not what you would want for anyone else. But it happened to you, and we need to learn to accept it.

Number two, life rewards performance, not desire. No matter how bad you want something, you're not going to get it unless you actually get it. You see, it's the act of accomplishing something, or acquiring or getting something, that life rewards. Life doesn't care whether you want it or not. Can you get it? For example, if you want to be a famous actor someday, no one really cares. Neither does life. Desire means nothing to life. But if you're able to actually book a role on the next Star Wars film, millions of people will care and life will reward you that which you were able to accomplish. That's how life works. But the harsh reality is, sometimes we don't know how to accomplish what we want. We don't know who to talk to to help us get where we want to go. And even if we do get the opportunity to do what we always dream to do, we might find out we're no good at it. That's one of the harshest realities of all. So colleges not being able to accept you into their program is simple proof that you weren't able to accomplish that audacious goal of yours. And for that, I'm sorry, but that is life.

Number three, life allows multiple points of view. You're the only one that can see outside your eyes. Your point of view is unique to you. Everyone else has a different point of view. In fact, they'll likely disagree with you and work against you because they believe you're wrong and they're right. And this is what's happening with your boss. He or she is not promoting you because they fundamentally disagree and don't see what you see. And that can feel sometimes like life's unfair. And it is.

Knowing all of this, what are we to do with the fact that life is so unfair? I suggest two things: accept it and expect it. When you accept the fact that you are not able to control the outcome of anything in life, you start to look at life as an adventure with endless possibilities. You learn to go with the flow and do your best with whatever opportunities you do have. Some mother used to say when life would hand her lemons, she would just make lemonade. And that's the winning philosophy in the midst of an unfair life.

So no matter how many social justice warriors cry out for equality or equity or equal outcome for all, they're setting everyone up for disillusionment or disappointment with life. The harsh reality is life is not fair. It always has been, it always will be. It is disappointing to hear—no doubt about it—but you can accept it and you can learn to expect it. And instead of getting upset when your life doesn't turn out the way you hoped it would be, learn to find the good in the bad, the upside to letdown. You need to get really, really good at making lemonade out of the lemons life throws to you. This is the success set of every wise person I've ever met and I've ever read about. And it can be yours.

You don't have to curse your parents. You don't have to cry over the rejection from college. And you don't have to get angry that your boss doesn't see eye to eye with you. You could simply expect that, "Hey, life's unfair. What am I going to do about it?"